31 months waiting!!

Today, March 31, 2015 marks 31 months that we have officially been on the waiting list for Malachi! 

THIRTY-ONE MONTHS

Thirty-one months ago our agency mailed our Dossier to Ethiopia. It still sits in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to this day. We still sit here... Waiting. 

So today I emailed our family coordinator at our adoption agency. This is what my email said:

Hey,
I've been talking with my husband and we've been looking at the "unofficial DTE list" which I know isn't entirely accurate, but I was wondering... Am I being unrealistic to hope for a referral within the next year? I know y'all can't really give a straight answer on that, but I have just been driving myself crazy and I think that a word from you might help me! 

Thanks,

Abby  

And this was her response... Which I found to be encouraging!! 

Excuse the adoption jargon. 

Hi Abby, 

We are currently matching families once they've waited 36-48 months, families open to boys are being matched around 36-40 months right now so its been a bit quicker for male requests lately. 

If wait times continue to stay the same you can anticipate a referral anywhere between August 2015-August 2016 (you will have been waiting 36 months in August). I would not anticipate you receiving a referral before August but I cant guarantee that wait times wont again increase during your wait.

The biggest thing that could affect your wait time besides how many babies we refer (making it on the shorter end or even longer than 48 months) will be how many families who have waited longer than you do concurrent family building, either going on hold or coming off of hold over the next year or so. At any point in time there are a lot of families who are on hold for various reasons in our program (either they let their I171H expire, are concurrent family building or other reasons). When many families are on hold or go on hold above you it makes it likely that you could be matched sooner and I have seen that affect a lot of families. I have also seen it affect families in the other way where all of a sudden many of our on hold families become eligible again and we then are going back up the list and matching those families. This is one of many reasons why its so hard for me to say with confidence what it will look like for you over the next year. 

Let me know if you have questions or if I can help you think through anything else. 

Blessings, 

Basically it is all still a toss up, but the fact that we are on the cusp of baby boy referrals makes me very happy. We are 31 months waiting and boys have been referred to families waiting 36-40 months. 

That's any time between August and December of this year!! 

But I also understand that though it could be as quick as this year or early 2016, that we also may have to wait longer than that because adoption is so unpredictable. 

Regardless, we cannot wait until the day we finally see our son's face! 

Speaking of faces! Yesterday we celebrated ONE YEAR of sponsorship with Yeabkal through Compassion International. One year ago we fell in love with the little boy in this photo. 

Now look how much he has grown... 

What a difference a year makes! I know those pictures are blurry... Excuse that please. 

We are also hopeful that while we are in Ethiopia that we will get to meet this little fella! My goal is to get a picture with him smiling 😊

And if you can spare 38$ a month, child sponsorship is well worth it! 

Today was a good, hopeful day in this journey! 

29 months of waiting

January 31 marked 29 months that we have "officially" been on the waiting list! 

29 MONTHS!! 

It still amazes me that this process has taken so long. However, Malachi is WORTH THE WAIT!! 

I know that most of you are thinking "well how much longer until you get him??"

That's a great question!! I ask God that same question on a DAILY basis! Although we don't know exactly when will will get him, we do know a few "statistics" within our agency. These are merely statistics and give us a rough estimate of time. 

Before I talk about "wait times," I feel like I need to clarify that we have NOT been matched with a child yet. We are waiting to be matched. Once we finally are matched and we see his face... You will know about it... TRUST ME. 

Please attempt to follow my adoption jargon for a minute!

There are 2 main ways we are tracking approximately "how much longer we have." 

Here they are:

The first tracking method:

We have been waiting 29 months. 

Our DTE (Dossier To Ethiopia) day was August 31, 2012. On that day, we were officially paperwork ready to receive a referral (match) therefore we were placed on our agency's waiting list. 

Okay... So... 

Our DTE was August 31, 2012

Our agency currently estimates a wait time of 36-48 months from DTE date to referral (being matched). 

We are 29 months from Our DTE date. 

Based on those estimates... We could receive a referral anywhere from 7 to 19 months from now. Ha! Talk about a large gap of time! Plus those times are subject to change! When we first entered the program, the estimated wait times were 12-18 months! 

Obviously that has changed drastically! 

The second tracking method:

This is our "number" on the waiting list. 

I need to clarify. Our agency does NOT give us an official waiting list number every month. So any "number" that I say we are is a unofficial number.  

So where does the list of numbers come from? 

It's been around within our agency long before we were adopting. Basically, when you enter the Ethiopia program with America World, the agency encourages you to get in two main groups for support and encouragement. One group is a Yahoo Group, the other is a closed Facebook Group. Once you are in those groups you can be "added" to the unofficial list. Basically, you tell the "keeper of the list" (which is just another mom in the program volunteering to keep up with the list) when your DTE date was and what your parameters are. 

For example:

Blackburn Family

DTE 8/31/12

Requesting a boy age 0-24 months 

Once you communicate that to the groups, they add you to the list. 

The "majority" of families volunteer this information and are added to the unofficial list. Some families, however, choose to remain anonymous. 

Since not EVERY SINGLE family is on the list, it is not entirely accurate. However, it does give you a very good idea of where you fall in line! I would estimate that approx 85-90% of families in our agency are on this list because it has been very accurate. 

Whew. Now that that is explained... What number are we?!?!

Well, December and January were amazing months in reference to referrals and movement! 

8 baby boys referrals have gone out!! 

So in the last 2 months we have moved up 8 spots!! 

We are #44 for an infant and #26 for a toddler!! 

I have been so encouraged because there is a possibility that we are even lower numbers than those! 

We stayed in the 60s for what seemed like a year. Now we have flown through the 50s and 40s. 

I cannot wait to get to the 30s!! 

So... How much longer until we get Malachi?? 

I have NO idea. 

But I drive myself nearly psycho tracking the details of when we might be close!! 

And I can feel it in my bones :-) 

We are getting closer!! 

This is us at the Federal Building in Jackson last week. We got our fingerprints done AGAIN! 

We have been working hard to update all of our paperwork so that if baby Malachi gets ready... We are ready too!! 

We lack ONE piece of paper before we are completely up to date on paperwork! 

Sidenote: 

Chip had a double ear infection so he was with us. 

Y'all, please keep praying for us! Pray for Malachi! Keep asking about adoption. We ask that you suffer long with us!! We know that God will bless you for continuing to lift us up to Him. We bless you! We thank you! We cannot wait to be on the other side of this journey and to get to share life with Malachi. 

Have a great week!! 

Abby 

Goodbye 2014... Hello 2015!

My collage collection for 2014 proved to be more difficult than 2013, but I got it done!! 

I am fairly confident that the difference was the addition of our second child and the move out to Down Range. 

Here are the collages from 2014!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The collages take time and effort, but it is always so rewarding to be able to take a quick glance at our lives over the course of a year! These kids grow so fast!

 

Praying that Malachi's face will be in some of the collages next year!

 

As of right now, I am planning on trying the collages for a third year in a row!

I think I like the way this year's collages turned out better than last year.

 

Click Here to see my collages from last year.

 

HAPPY 2015 EVERYONE!!

Though it linger... wait for it.

Who am I that the Lord of all creation might choose to speak to me?

Who am I that the God of Heaven and of Earth might hear my cry and answer me?

Lately, I have struggled to keep walking forward in this adoption.

I am more than weary...

Literally... physically... emotionally... mentally... 

I have been struggling.

My closest friends surround me, support me and pray for me.

I seriously could not do this without the love and support of others!

I have been wrestling with God.

I have been crying out to Him.

WHEN will this adoption EVER happen?!? 

WHY do you stand silently by and allow governments and corruption to keep innocent children from forever families?

Where are you? 

Then this morning... It was as if He looked down at the earth and chose to speak to me.

I sat down for my morning Bible Study. I didn't really have anything in particular I wanted to read so I decided to read the L3 (our church's reading plan). 

The first option in the L3 is Revelation... ehh.. I will just skip that today. I'm not feeling it.

Option number 2 is Habakkuk. 

Sure. Why not? 

Habakkuk 1 begins with Habakkuk praying to the Lord a prayer that is very familiar to me.

"How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?"

Habakkuk thinks that the LORD is merely standing by, passively, and allowing wickedness to prevail.

God's response:

"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. 

For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."

I was intrigued.

Habakkuk thought God was silently standing by.

But He wasn't.

Instead, He was working "behind the scenes" to create something amazing.

Most days I feel like Habakkuk. I feel like God is silent in our adoption journey.

Instead, could it be that He is actively crafting together something that I would not believe even if I was told? 

(of course the answer to this is YES, but that is so hard to see in the day to day struggle)

God proceeds to give Habakkuk a revelation of His plan.

Habakkuk responds with a few more questions.

Then the next few verses jumped off the page at me.

"Then the LORD replied:

Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

it speaks of the end

and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay.

What will certainly come and not delay?

The revelation that God had given to Habakkuk.

God gave Lee and I a revelation about adoption in November 2010.

That is what we wait on.

Of course we wait for a child, but our heart of hearts waits to see the fulfillment of what the Lord spoke into our lives. 

So much of my most recent struggle in this adoption journey is focused on God and not Malachi.

Sure I love Malachi and cannot wait to see him.

However, more importantly than receiving a child... I long to taste the faithfulness of the Lord. I long to see the fulfillment of His promise

The words "though it linger, wait for it" were both encouraging and discouraging.

I am encouraged because it is Truth spoken directly to me. I renews my Spirit and reminds me that ONE DAY He will fulfill His promise.

It discourages me because... it lingers... and I must continue to wait.

He didn't tell me that it would happen swiftly like I wish He would have.

A sweet friend of mine who is also in the adoption process made a comment the other day that really stuck in my head. This particular friend is just as (or probably more) weary as me.

With tears in her eyes she said, "If I had to choose the short route or the long route in His presence... I would never want to choose the short route."

In essence, she was saying that she would never want to choose the shortest route of a journey and miss out on the presence of the Lord. She would rather journey the harder, longer route just to be in the presence of the Lord for longer.

That is NOT an easy comment to make. 

So I have chewed on it for a few weeks. I am praying that in my weariness that I don't miss out on His presence. I don't want to become bitter. I want to become more like Him.

A lady asked me a question the other day (innocently and sweetly). She said, "I don't mean this to sound weird but I simply have to ask you... Do you think you will be able to love your adopted child like you do your biological children?"

I proceeded to explain that in my heart there seriously is no difference in how I feel about Malachi, Miller or Chip. I explained that you fall in love with your children while you are pregnant with them... and I have been "paper pregnant" with Malachi for... umm... 3 years!" She understood and appreciated my explanation.

I looked away from her for a moment. We both paused in the silence.

I slowly looked back up at her and said, "I honestly don't think that I will ever be able to look at Malachi and not think about the Lord."

I pictured my brown son standing in the room next to us.

And when I saw him... I thought about Jesus.

Exciting news on the adoption front!

In the last 2 weeks there have been at least 3 baby boy referrals go out so we have moved up a few spots!! 

We are thankful to have seen so much movement in the past 2 months. We pray that referrals continue to go out, and we also pray that children can get the necessary paperwork to COME HOME!!

5.5K for the 5K!!

Your support through our 5K fundraiser has literally left us speechless.

The 5K just sort of "fell into our laps" as a fundraiser and we didn't really know what to expect.

You responded to God's nudge to give and we are eternally grateful!

THANK YOU!

So far we have received approximately

$5,500

and counting...

That DOES NOT include the $3,000 match that Colonial Heights is giving us!

So with the match, we have raised approximately

$8,500

I seriously cannot believe that I just typed that number!

and counting...

I keep saying "and counting" because we have had several people come forward in the last few days asking if they could still give.

YES! The answer is YES!

8,500 is a lot of money, but we still have a good bit of money to raise!

One of the most amazing blessings of the 5K was an answer to a specific prayer that I prayed. 

I remember praying..

"God, I know You will provide financially, but I ask even more that you would show Lee and I that we are not alone in this journey. Adoption can be a lonely and weary journey, so could you just bring forth people to come around and support us?"

I remember thinking, "if we could get 30 people to stand up and sponsor us... That would encourage me so much." 

I sit here typing this today as I am writing over 87 thank you notes!!! 

Yes.... At least 87 people sponsored us...  

That is not counting the family members of the sponsors! That is simply counting how many donations we received!! 

So if we are counting "people" we could easily double or triple that number! 

Our hearts are full. Our words of gratitude fall short. 

Thank you.

Here are some photos from the race! 

It was a cold, brisk, beautiful morning. 

Colonial Heights Baptist Church did an AMAZING job on the race! It was almost surreal to be surrounded by so many people coming together for orphans... Which is always on the forefront of mine and Lee's heart.

 

warming up

 

 

 

The Blackburn Family before the race. The boys were freezing!

 

 

Our handprints

 

Sweet team of runners! A few runners weren't pictured in this photo.

Thank you Megan Stewart, Nicole Hand, Danielle Stewart, Stephanie Kitchens, Ben Kitchens, Chasity Bounds, Will & Alicia Mattern, Courtney Anders and Jennifer Crane for raising money for us and for volunteering to run!!

 

 

My sweetest friend, Megan Manuel. We have been journeying together for years! Immensely thankful for her friendship!

 

 

Lee and Will did a great job of pushing the 4 kiddos the majority of the race... or I mean... pretty much the ENTIRE race.

 

 

"Team Blackburn" after the race! Such a sweet day!

Lee and I said "we know we have some sweet, sweet friends when they will get up early on a Saturday morning to run in below freezing weather to support us!

 

 

This sweet boy is READY for his brother to come home!

 

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your support!!

 

 

 

4 years ago...

November 17, 2010 is a day that Lee and I will never forget. It was the day that the Lord confirmed to both of us that He had indeed called us to adopt. We took this picture that night.

 

 

I am so thankful for this photo. It is such a tangible reminder of God's calling on our lives.

 

But y'all.... that was FOUR years ago!

Four years and we are STILL on this journey!!

We have learned a lot and grown a lot since that night, but our desire for our son only increases by the day! Our passion for orphans has not faded.

 

Today was a hard day.

 

My heart is so heavy over our adoption. I desperately long to see Malachi's face. I long to have these days of waiting behind us. This mother's heart aches for a child that she has not yet seen, felt or heard.

 

Still we wait.

 

God's timing is perfect. His will is perfect. He knows our past, present and future.

I trust that He is working all things together for His purposes.

 

It's still hard.

 

I am not sure when Malachi will come home, but I know two amazing brothers that are waiting on him!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Please continue to pray for us and that God would bring our boy home quickly!!



Handprints and Clearing up confusion

I wanted to post a follow-up blog about our 5K Fundraiser. And some very, very exciting news at the bottom of the blog! 

Here are a few details to clear up some confusion:

1) Our adoption 5K and the Down Range 5K (camp we live at) are two DIFFERENT races! Down Range trail run is THIS Saturday, the 8th. Our adoption 5K is NEXT Saturday, the 15th! They are two completely seperate events!

2) You can still sign up to race (in both races if you'd like). 

3) The handprints are only for our adoption 5K. They are not for the Down Range Trail Run (again, two completely different races). 

About the handprints... You guys ROCK!!! Seriously! I think we have close to 30 or more sponsors for our runners so far!! Yay!! 

Here is an example of what the handprints will look like when we wear them in the race! 

Do you want to purchase a handprint? 

All you do is make a donation (of any amount) to our Lifesong account and we will write your name on a handprint to wear in the race! 

Below are the instructions to make a donation:

Family name: Blackburn

Family account: 4909

Make sure you add those two things so that the money goes to our account! 

Okay.... Now for the exciting news I promised you! 

I received and email last week that stated this.... 

Dear Lee and Abby,

 

Praise God for the $3000 matching grantyou received funded by Colonial Heights!  Our God is an awesome Provider God!  

Ahhh!! I was so excited! So that means that every dollar donated into our lifesong account will be matched up to $3000!! 

Basically your donation is doubled!! 

We are so thankful and grateful! 

Earlier today Lee and I checked our Lifesong account. We were truly blown away by the generosity of everyone. Lee looked at me and said "things like this remind me that we are exactly where God wants us to be." 

Thank you for your prayers and financial support. When you support us, you don't only help provide financially, but also emotionally. We are so encouraged when people step forward and support us. It gives us the strength needed to keep pressing on in this journey. Your giving results in us praising God! I was feeling very lonely in this journey prior to this fundraiser, but God is reminding us that we are not alone! 

Thank you for being such a blessing to us!