The month of October

The month of October in the Blackburn Household

 

* First trip to church since Chip's arrival (success)

* Roasting marshmallows with cousins

*Miller with little brother

*Halloween fun with Big Brother Dino and baby dino hatching from his egg

*Ergo riding in the beautiful fall weather

*Chip turned 1 month old :(

*Miller getting Ice Cream from the Ice Cream Truck

* Miller riding a pony at the MS State Fair

* Squirrel Hunting with JayJay & Daddy

 

The month of October has consisted of sleepless nights, lots of coffee, beautiful weather, snuggling with babies, football and simply adjusting to life as a family of 4.

People ask how life with 2 kiddos is going.
It's good.
It's MORE.
More chaos. More demanding. More laundry. More mouths to feed.
More.
More joy. More snuggles. More love. More smiles.
It's simply more.


People ask about adoption.
Thank you!
We love it when people engage in conversation about our journey to Malachi.
Although I haven't talked about adoption much lately on this here little blog, we are STILL adopting.
We are STILL waiting on our little man.
And we think about it daily.
Adoption is very much part of our everyday life.
I stalk our agency's Facebook page.
I constantly read blog posts from other mother's who are also in the adoption process.
We chat with local friends who are adopting or have adopted.
We are involved in the orphan ministry at our church.
We have not forgotten the orphan. Not just our son, but orphans at large.

I ache to have my son no longer be called an orphan.
The month of October in our adoption process has been... well... hard for me.
I haven't posted our "number" in a few months because we haven't moved spots. And if we have moved any spots, it has been backwards (because other people ahead of us have changed their requests). So, I guess I'm kinda pouting.
That's okay huh?

You may be thinking the same thing that we often hear from others when we talk about our adoption.
"Well.. at least you've got other stuff, like welcoming another child into the family to keep you busy."
This is So. True.
We are beyond thankful that the Lord has allowed us to grow our family in the wait.
And this has helped keep me sane.

However.

Can I explain to you what Lee and I refer to as "The Void?"
Almost 3 years ago (November 17, 2010), God planted the vision of a child in our hearts.
A child that we now call "Malachi"
God graciously gave us a longing for this child. A void in our hearts until he is home.
This void is both a blessing and a curse.
The blessing is that it keeps us seeking, waiting, longing... desperate for our boy.
A curse because the void is painful.

And no matter how many children God gives us, they cannot fill the void for Malachi.
We still long for him.
We still WANT him.
Only Malachi can fill that specific void.

We had voids for Miller and Chip too. It just looked different.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, I desired that child.
Not in the way that I "desired" to have children before becoming pregnant.
But a deep longing to hold the child that was in my belly.
And nothing could replace that child.
Women weep over miscarriages.
Babies they don't even "know"
Why?
Because the moment that child is placed in your heart... you are never. ever. the same.

And this mama's heart LOVES my babies that are home.
And.
I LONG for my baby(ies) that are not home yet!

:) yes... I made that plural!!

And... the news has a "Pro Choice" rally on right now.
These people are wearing shirts that say
"Abortion on demand and without apology."

My. Heart. Aches.

I literally drive past the obnoxious PINK abortion clinic every. single. morning. on my way to work.
And every morning... my heart hurts for the unborn babies...and their mothers.

This world is rough, y'all.
So thankful that this world is not my home!!