It's not WHAT you do, it's HOW you do it

I was having brunch with a sweet friend the other day and we were reading through a Bible Study. The question was posed "what are you doing that is advancing the kingdom of God? What do you spend your days working on?" Initially I responded that I felt like I was in a rut and not really doing anything but surviving. Then I replied, "Well I know that one of God's major purposes for me is being a mother. So I can count that."

But can I really?

After all, unbelievers are mothers too. Many of them are actually really great mothers (at least according to the world's standards).

 

So then I clarified myself.

 

It's not WHAT you do, it's HOW you do it.

 

I remembered our pastor recently saying during a sermon that people focus so much on "raising their kids right." He went into detail about how parents go to the extremes to make sure their kids stay out of trouble, make good choices, get a great career, etc. etc.

Those are not bad things.

But his punch line at the end was:

"If you excel in parenting at everything worldly, but don't teach your children what a TRUE relationship with Christ looks like..... you have failed."

 

And he wasn't just talking about teaching your kids to go to church on Sundays.

No.. He was talking about something so much more.

He was talking about modeling relationship with Christ to your children so that they fully understand.

 

(I think I just felt my stomach fall onto the floor).

 

What... A... Big... Calling and Responsibility.

 

I claim that above all else I want my children to love Jesus.

But do I really?

Above all else? Above being a good athlete, a star student, popular, successful?

Do I desire it above all that?

Let's don't even mention the struggle that so many parents have which is finally letting our children go. Letting them leave us and become independent.

No, we secretly want to keep them forever. Sure we want them to grow up, but they better stay close to us. They better not move too far away.

 Even if MY desires for my children aren't GOD'S desires for my children??

 

Hmmm...

 

Maybe this Mama needs a wake up call.

 

Don't you worry. God has already been giving me one... slowly, but surely.

AND MY BOYS ARE STILL TINY!!

 

It's as if God says to me, "Enjoy them, because you are raising men who will one day leave."

 

Lee and I beg during our prayers "God please call our boys to follow you. God please bring salvation to them. Our hearts desire is that they love you and give up everything for you!"

 

And the rubber meets the road.

 

I recently read the account of Jesus calling James and John to follow him. It's found in the book of Matthew and Mark. It has rocked my little world.

 

"Going on from there, He (Jesus) saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed Him."

Matthew 4:21-22

 

Those two boys jumped out of their father's boat and followed Jesus. And let me remind you that at this point in time, people didn't know that Jesus was the Christ. They didn't know the New Testament like we do today.

 

I wonder how Zebedee responded. Did he encourage his boys to go? To leave him there in the boat fishing. Did he give them his blessing, or did he pout and become bitter? Did he put them on a guilt trip for not staying to help him with his livelihood? Or did he usher them out of the boat... knowing that they would never live near him or work with him again?

 

How did this daddy react when his two precious sons stepped out of his boat and began to follow a man that he didn't even really understand?

 

Scripture doesn't tell us. But scripture does go on to tell us about the lives of this man's sons.

James and John became part of Jesus' inner circle. They weren't just 2 of the 12 disciples. No, they were 3 of Christ's best friends (along with Peter).

John even ended up writing several books in the New Testament, including John, 1 John, 2 John, 3 John and Revelation.

 

And I picture that sweet father sitting in the boat, watching his sons walk away. He must have feared that the world would think his boys were crazy. He must have feared for their future. After all, wasn't staying with him and remaining fishermen the "safer" option?

 

I bet God met him there. Encouraged him. Blessed him.

 

You see... being a fisherman in those days wasn't a prestigious job. It was mediocre. As a matter of fact, most fishermen didn't have an education. Zebedee may not have raised his boys to excel according to the world's standards, but man oh man, Zebedee did not fail as a father.

Zebedee must have instilled something in his boys that gave them a craving for eternity.

 

My sweet friend sent me this picture after church the day that our preacher talked about teaching your kids relationship with Christ.

  

 

She wrote "My kids may never be the star students or exceed worldly standards. But at the end of the day, all I want is for them to know and to love Jesus."

 

I love her heart for the Lord. And pray that those 3 little kiddos in this picture do just that - love Jesus and love people.

And I pray that when the rubber meets the road, I sit in the boat like Zebedee and encourage my kids to "go". 

 

Organ Donation and Adoption

Strange blog title huh? 

This post has been swirling around in my head for about 2 months now, but I never had time to slow down and type.

A few questions repeatedly come up with Lee's new job with M.O.R.A (MS Organ Recovery Agency).

"How do you do it?"

"Aren't you depressed all the time because of how sad it is?"

Lee always replies the same way. "Yes, it is sad that there is loss. However, I can't help but think about all the people whose lives are being saved on the other side of the loss." 

Journey with me for a moment. 

I walk into her ICU room. She greets me with a friendly smile.
"You ready to work with therapy?" I ask.
She replies, "sure." 

Beep... Beep... Beep... 

The sound of all her monitors ring in the background of our conversation.

I arrange multiple IV lines so that she can make her way to the edge of the bed.

We walk around the room, dragging multiple IV poles including the machine that is hooked to her heart (externally) to keep her heart pumping.

She's sick.

We both know it.

Her time is limited.

We finish our session and I tell her to have a good weekend.

She looks out the window and her face turns solemn. 

"I am hoping to get a heart this weekend."

Her words carried a weight. A heavy weight.

She knew what getting a heart meant for someone else.
And it wasn't easy.

That was the last time I saw her lying in that ICU room hooked to the external heart pump.

She got a heart.

Lee comes home exhausted from work.
"She's sick, Abby. I don't know how much longer she will make it without a liver."
He was on his feet all day taking care of her.
A few days later Lee comes home amazed.
She had received her liver and would be discharging home from the hospital within a few more days.
"She was so sick. I am so amazed" said Lee.

Organ donation can be a beautiful thing.
But it can only come after loss.

Lee and I have both had the privilege of seeing the beauty of organ donation in the lives of our patients.
We have seen their faces and touched their hands.
So when Lee replies "I can't help but think of the people waiting on organs and how their lives will be impacted."
He is speaking from personal experience.

Adoption is such a parallel.
Adoption is beautiful. However, in order for adoption to occur there must first be some type of loss.
Our sweet Malachi will endure loss that many of us have never known.
Those words carry a weight. My heart is heavy, not only for him, but for his birth parents also.
My heart is heavy for orphans at large.

Praise God that we serve Him who is redemptive and makes all things new!

Miller's 2nd Birthday

Miller had his 2nd Birthday Party Yesterday!

He LOVED it!

I am pretty positive that he had absolutely NO idea that it was HIS party, but he ran wide open in the gym for 2 hours! We couldn't keep up with him!

 

Here are a few pictures from the party.

 

We had it at the MS Cheerleading Academy

 

The Birthday Boy!

 

This picture makes me sad! He's so grown now! 6 months ago we went to a party at this same location and I had to help him up these slides :((
Yesterday... he did EVERYTHING by himself.

This picture reveals the ENTIRE day... Miller RUNNING as fast as he could.
Literally, I couldn't keep up with him.
That's him and sweet Mary Grayson running to do the obstacle course again (for the 20th time literally)
 

 

The birthday boy got a small black eye. No worries, it didn't phase him.

 

 

 

 

Kemp and Ty Sumo Wrestling

 

 

Miller enjoying a cupcake.

Daddy was in charge of the camera during singing and he accidentally didn't get pictures or videos :))

I will operate the camera next year

 

 

Me and my little man

 

 

The "theme" was Mickey Mouse.

"Oh Two-dles"

 

 

 

The best family picture we could get.

 

 

This was a more realistic picture... Miller way too busy to participate!

 

Birthday parties are fun and chaotic.

The reason they are worth every minute of it is because they celebrate LIFE. 

 

We are so thankful for this little life named Miller that God has entrusted us with.

As I looked around the gym yesterday, I was thankful for all of the tiny little lives running around.

Each one created for a specific purpose!

JULY 2013

OUR JULY 2013 COLLAGE

HIGHLIGHTS

Lee reached the New Testament at the end of the month! 2 years this boy has been faithfully reading through the Bible and he is moving from Old to New Testament!

Miller's first experience with fireworks on 4th of July!

River trip with Blackburn Family the 4th of July weekend

Miller and Blakely - buddies & cousins

Lee taking Miller for a ride on the knee board. 

Miller and JayJay riding the tractor at the deer camp

Lee and I painted the nursery!! Grey in color.

Miller Blackburn turned 2 YEARS OLD on July 30th! We took him to the children's museum to celebrate.

He is having a Mickey Mouse Birthday party this weekend.

Unfortunately, we did not move up any spots on the waiting list.

Still number 66 for an infant and 32 for a toddler :( 

Adoption, Pregnancy, Life

I'm up late and it's quiet... so I decided that I would do a little blog post. I don't have anything earth shattering to talk about, but just a few little updates on life. 

ADOPTION

I cannot believe that at the end of August we will have officially been on the waiting list for 1 year!! Geez... time has flown by and crept by all in one. 

With our 1 year "anniversary" for DTE approaching, we have lots of updates to do.

Boring, but necessary paperwork.

We filled out the paperwork a few days ago (July 22) to update our fingerprints. 

I kinda had a bad attitude filling out paperwork. I will be glad when the non-referral paperwork is complete!

After we filled out the paperwork, I grabbed Malachi's journal and flipped through the pages to see what we were doing in July of last year. Ironically, I had written in his journal on the exact same date last year - July 22. So I snapped a picture of the scripture I had written.



Love that scripture. However, that scripture reminded me of the weight of responsibility Lee and I have in raising young men. They are my boys right now, but I am not raising humans that will remain children. I am raising men to be sent out into the world.
Lee and I are the warriors.
Lord help us shoot our "arrows" in the right direction.


PREGNANCY

I am 31 weeks pregnant!
Seriously, this pregnancy has flown by! I am getting nervous as the weeks keeping coming and going!
And let me tell you... I have a wild little boy in my belly! He literally never stops moving!
We made a "small" step of progress this week! We painted his nursery!
It's grey for those of you wondering. The colors in the picture didn't really show up right.
Nope... don't have anything other than grey walls picked out. No theme. No bedding.
Yes, we do have a name picked out.
I plan to blog about that at a later time.





LIFE

I love artwork.
Why?
I don't know.
I just do.

I like to write.
Why?
I don't know.
I just do.

The past week or so I have had the "urge" to do a little art.
Lee said yesterday, "you seem yourself again."

A local artist that I was reading about made the following statement when asked why she loves to paint.

"I paint because there is something inside of me that needs to come out."

An expression.

For those of you who love to paint or write - you completely understand what she is saying. There is just something inside of me that wasn't meant to remain there.
It was meant to come out.
So... I have decided that I am going to "attempt" to not keep stories that I would love to blog about held inside.
I am also going to "attempt" to let expressions of art flow freely and TRY not be self-defeating.
I want to be myself, and ultimately be all of who God created me to be.

I will end with this precious new addition to our house.
It was a multi-person project.

I came up with the idea.
Lee, his cousin Sha, and her son, Ty, all graciously went along with my idea. They took a quick trip to Lowe's and Hobby Lobby.
Sweet Lee (and Ty) built the frame.
We painted and distressed and glued burlap.
I painted the word "BLESSED" on the bottom.
Then I sent it to my sweet and talented friend, Felicia Robbins.
I said "Felicia, just make it pretty. Add some birds or something. Oh and make that word "blessed" look better. I'm too pregnant to stress over this :))"
She did! She made the whole thing come together beautifully!!
Check her out on Facebook. Her page is Robbins Roost Designs.
She's great.

Anyway.

Felicia called and said "Abby, I'm thinking 5 birds." She went into all the details of having 2 birds one color, etc. etc.
Finally... I understood where her sweet brain was going!
5 Birds for our family of 5.

2 birds one color (me and lee)
Then she said, "tell me some other colors you have in your living room."
I spouted off some colors and she said, "okay, perfect. I will pick a few colors and get it to ya."




Isn't it pretty??
Obviously, I need to get some family pictures in it! One step at a time :)

I proudly shared this picture with my coworkers the day I was going to pick it up.
At first glance, you wouldn't think anything special about the number of birds.
But I told my coworkers that they represented our family.
My boss replied "yeah, and that's your colors too."
Me: What?
Boss: Your colors. Those are your colors.
Me: I am confused. My kids aren't yellow, green or red.
Boss: No, no. The flag. Aren't those the flag colors?

Moment of silence.

Why, yes.
Yes, those are the Ethiopia flag colors again.
Green, yellow, red - in that order.

I later told Felicia and she laughed saying that she hadn't thought of that at all, but that she had carefully considered the placement of colors.

There's so much more to life than what meets the eye.

Always.

God is an artist.

His art always has more depth and meaning than what meets the eye.

June 2013

Here is our June 2013 collage

We FINALLY MOVED on the waiting list again :) 

#66 for an infant (0-18 mos old) - up two spots! 

#32 for a toddler (18-24 mos old) - up one spot!

After 2 years, I reached the final book of the Old Testament (Malachi). My journey through the Bible continues into the New Testament. 

On June 5th, Lee officially started working for M.O.R.A. 

Miller LOVES the pool. He loves to jump (one hundred plus times). 

Summer isn't summer without a snow cone aka "shaved ice" at Bop's.

Our first squash out of our very neglected little garden. 

We have "neighborhood ducks." They will eat whatever you give them! We named them "Daisy and Donald"

Picture of Miller and Lee on Father's Day. Miller loves his daddy! 

Happy July Y'all 

Thanks for the Adventure

I sat on the porch reading my Bible this morning. I was so excited to flip the pages and begin reading the New Testament. You see, TWO YEARS ago Lee and I made a commitment to read through the Bible. Yes, I know this can be done faster... but we decided to go at our own pace. Honestly, the "read the Bible in year" plans stress me out because if I miss a day or get behind on the schedule, I tend to focus more on catching up than on what God is trying to teach me. 

So... slowly but surely we are on this journey through the Word. 

Lee is a few books behind me, but not far :) 

I only made it one chapter this morning and I just HAD to start writing.
Matthew chapter 1
Mary is pregnant. Joseph is not the father. Joseph decides to divorce Mary quietly so that she would not be stoned. He thought this was the best option.
Then God intercedes. Sends an angel that tells Joseph to MARRY HER!

Matthew 1:24 "When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the LORD had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife."

Joseph knew that doing this would not be socially accepted. Joseph knew that people would question his righteousness. This would make him look "guilty" of impregnating Mary before marriage. Life would never be the same if he chose this road.
Joseph had a fork in the road.


I began drawing the above forks.
Divorce Mary OR Marry her
Please the world OR Obey God
Protect your social status OR Forfeit your social status for true righteousness

Joseph heard a word from the LORD. Not just an "I think that's what God said, but an I KNOW THAT'S WHAT GOD SAID." Joseph had a choice to make. This was a much bigger choice than he probably realized at the time. After all, he would adopt and father THE CHRIST. Jesus wasn't Joseph's blood relative, but God was asking Joseph to be the earthly father to Jesus.
Praise God Joseph took the road less traveled.
Joseph said "yes" to God. He laid his own life down for the Lord in that moment. His future. His dreams. His idea of what life would look like. He laid it down.
I am sure that people mocked Joseph, told him he was crazy, that he was ruining his life and his future family's life. I am sure the criticism flew in faster than Joseph could blink.

BUT

That still, small voice of God probably encouraged him daily, "keep stepping forward Joseph, I am here, keep pressing on."

Joseph had the privilege of being the earthly father to his heavenly King. Joseph could have missed that opportunity with one small "no."

I cried during the cartoon movie "UP" yesterday. Many of you have probably seen it. The little old man misses his deceased wife. He begins looking through a photo album of their life together as he sits next to her empty chair. Photo after photo of their life. They had some great times. And at the end of the book, below a picture of them well in age, the wife signed the book:

"Thanks for the adventure.
Now go start a new one.
I love you." 

Thank you, Lord, for the gift of a husband like Joseph. A man who is willing to say "yes" to You at the risk of being rejected by friends, family and society at large. Thank you, Lord, for placing Lee and I at a fork in the road very similar to Joseph's, and for giving us courage and strength to take the road less traveled. The criticism and rejection have come. The emotional blows have hurt. People have called us crazy and told us we were ruining our lives and our kids' lives.

BUT

They cannot hear the still, small voice that whispers to us "keep pressing on kids."

I wonder if at the end of it all... Mary and Joseph sat drinking their coffee, reminiscing about life when one of them looked up and said "I'd choose to do it all over again. Thanks for the adventure."

I recently had a pivotal moment. It came after our garage sale. Prior to the sale I was struggling emotionally. I blogged about it a while back. Worry. Fear. Doubt. God answered, as He always does.

The night after the sale, Lee, Miller and I were eating at Corner Bakery. I looked at Lee and said, "You know? I choose THIS life every time."
"What?" Lee replied.
"Every time I am tempted to think that it would just be easier to please the world and fit in with society?"

"Every time, I choose THIS life. Never once is my heart content to choose the other."

I want to sit on the porch with Lee one day... Heads full of white/silver hair... Drinking coffee and reminiscing about life. I want to remember to tell him:
"Thanks for the adventure. Now let's start a new one."