4th of July Challenge

One year ago we moved to Clinton to live at Down Range. If you haven't heard of Down Range then check out their website www.cjstewart.org. 

We love the ministry at Down Range. Recently CJ has been running Manhood Academy for high school and middle school boys. We have heard so many stories from kids and parents about how their lives were impacted while at camp! 

Since we have lived at Down Range, we have gained a whole new appreciation for our military. Men and women who serve in the US Military are admirable. They love their country... Deeply. They love each other even more deeply. They have a brotherhood that is indescribable. 

And they love an American Flag! 

Since the Fourth of July is coming up soon, I decided to have a small fundraiser to raise money for Down Range's next project.... A paintball course! 

Construction will be underway very soon! 

My goal: 500$ 

(obviously this won't build the whole course but ever little bit counts, right?!) 

How I hope to reach the goal: 

Sell 10 wooden flags for 50$ each. Custom painted.

How you can help:

Buy a flag!! 

Or you could just donate to the CJ Stewart foundation if you don't want a flag! 

Why is this blog titled "4th of July Challenge?"

I am glad you asked! 

Instead of buying a flag for yourself, I challenge you to purchase a flag for someone you know in the US Military! 

If you do this, your purchase is a double blessing: Down Range plus directly saying thank you to someone you know personally that serves our country. 

Now for the photos! 

These are solid wood. 

Sizes range from 11x14 to 11x18. 

They are able to stand on their own. 

You probably don't want to have to have these shipped :-) 

Close up of the texture on the flag! This flag is a deeper red than the following flag. 

This flag is a true bright red. The wood on this one is completely covered with caulk and painted.

Baby boy flag! Would be very cute in a nursery. 

 Baby girl flag. Would be precious in a nursery. The blue is a little more tuquoise in person. 

ReAdy. Set. Happy 4th!! 

Our Sunday Morning

Lee has been out of town for the past several days so this morning I was getting the boys ready for church... Alone :-) I think parents everywhere can agree that Sunday mornings have a natural chaos about them. For whatever reason, it is just hard to get yourself, your spouse and those wild kiddos out the door and to church on time. 

This morning my boys were playing with the money in their cash register. I was rushing around trying to get everything we needed when Miller walked up to me with a hand full of money and said, "Mama, I wanna take dis money to da church and I think I might cuuuld buy somfin there." I looked down at him and my initial thought was, "what in the world? We don't have time for that! And there is nothing to buy at the church!" 

 

BUT... Luckily I refrained from speaking any of those thoughts. 

Instead I just said "Okay Miller. You can take 2 pieces of money with you. But I don't think you are going to be able to buy anything at church."  

We resumed with getting into the car and heading to church. 

On the way to church I honestly forgot about the money. I had zero expectations as my primary goal was to get everyone to church on time and safely. 

We arrived. I unbuckled the boys and when Miller jumped out of the van I noticed that he was clinging tightly to those two very large, fake pieces of money. I smiled. 

It was a bustling morning at church. (They literally had to ask people to scoot over because it was so crowded in the service). 

When we walked through the front doors of the church, we just happened to see our campus pastor. I told him hello and when he began to greet Miller I said, "he brought that money with him because he thought he just might be able to buy something." 

Our pastor responded by saying, "Sure! We can find him something to buy!" 

About that time, the Preschool Minister walked up to all of us. The pastor looked at her and said (as if Miller's mission to buy something was his main concern) "he is looking for something to buy with that money he has. Do you think we could find something?"  She responded, "Yeah! We can find him something to buy. What about a pen?" So she led us over to the front desk and told the workers at the desk what Miller was wanting to do. So they "sold" him a pen. 

Miller just grinned a sheepish grin. He was so proud. 

As I sat down in church I was replaying the whole scenario. I was overcome with gratitude to be in this community and at Pinelake Clinton (our church). Two of the church's busiest people this morning took time to help a 3 year old purchase something with his fake money. 

I was reminded of the African Proverb "It takes a village to raise a child." 

There is such truth in that! I desire to raise boys who become confident men. I want Miller to be creative in his thinking and dream big. I want him to be able to make a decision about something and walk it out confidently. 

This morning a 3 year old boy independently decided to take some money along and buy something. There were so many things that could have crushed his plan and his confidence. However, a village of people came around my child. Miller will never remember that pen. 

But

Today a seed of confidence was planted in him. One day that tiny boy will be a man. Lee and I are fully aware that we need a village to help us raise him well. 

Thank you for BEING THE VILLAGE! 

TShirts & 33 months!

Tomorrow we will have officially been waiting 33 months! 

As of now, our "target" waiting time frame remains 36-40 months. We are praying that we receive a referral within that time frame! For those of you in this process also, I received that time frame from my family coordinator. 

I don't have much to update on the adoption process other than that time mark. 

We do, however, need to sell these t-shirts!! They have been in our closet since the 5K in November. 

It. Is. Time. 

So.. First come. First serve. 

We will sell them for 10$ each. Please add 3$ shipping per shirt. Sorry guys, shipping just isn't cheap. 

About these shirts. 

They run BIG! Like really big. Like extra really big. 

I wear a medium and it is long on me. 

BUT they are so so so comfy!! I love my shirt! 

We only have sizes M, L and XL

Here's a picture of them! 

Ready. Set. Buy! 

31 months waiting!!

Today, March 31, 2015 marks 31 months that we have officially been on the waiting list for Malachi! 

THIRTY-ONE MONTHS

Thirty-one months ago our agency mailed our Dossier to Ethiopia. It still sits in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia to this day. We still sit here... Waiting. 

So today I emailed our family coordinator at our adoption agency. This is what my email said:

Hey,
I've been talking with my husband and we've been looking at the "unofficial DTE list" which I know isn't entirely accurate, but I was wondering... Am I being unrealistic to hope for a referral within the next year? I know y'all can't really give a straight answer on that, but I have just been driving myself crazy and I think that a word from you might help me! 

Thanks,

Abby  

And this was her response... Which I found to be encouraging!! 

Excuse the adoption jargon. 

Hi Abby, 

We are currently matching families once they've waited 36-48 months, families open to boys are being matched around 36-40 months right now so its been a bit quicker for male requests lately. 

If wait times continue to stay the same you can anticipate a referral anywhere between August 2015-August 2016 (you will have been waiting 36 months in August). I would not anticipate you receiving a referral before August but I cant guarantee that wait times wont again increase during your wait.

The biggest thing that could affect your wait time besides how many babies we refer (making it on the shorter end or even longer than 48 months) will be how many families who have waited longer than you do concurrent family building, either going on hold or coming off of hold over the next year or so. At any point in time there are a lot of families who are on hold for various reasons in our program (either they let their I171H expire, are concurrent family building or other reasons). When many families are on hold or go on hold above you it makes it likely that you could be matched sooner and I have seen that affect a lot of families. I have also seen it affect families in the other way where all of a sudden many of our on hold families become eligible again and we then are going back up the list and matching those families. This is one of many reasons why its so hard for me to say with confidence what it will look like for you over the next year. 

Let me know if you have questions or if I can help you think through anything else. 

Blessings, 

Basically it is all still a toss up, but the fact that we are on the cusp of baby boy referrals makes me very happy. We are 31 months waiting and boys have been referred to families waiting 36-40 months. 

That's any time between August and December of this year!! 

But I also understand that though it could be as quick as this year or early 2016, that we also may have to wait longer than that because adoption is so unpredictable. 

Regardless, we cannot wait until the day we finally see our son's face! 

Speaking of faces! Yesterday we celebrated ONE YEAR of sponsorship with Yeabkal through Compassion International. One year ago we fell in love with the little boy in this photo. 

Now look how much he has grown... 

What a difference a year makes! I know those pictures are blurry... Excuse that please. 

We are also hopeful that while we are in Ethiopia that we will get to meet this little fella! My goal is to get a picture with him smiling 😊

And if you can spare 38$ a month, child sponsorship is well worth it! 

Today was a good, hopeful day in this journey! 

29 months of waiting

January 31 marked 29 months that we have "officially" been on the waiting list! 

29 MONTHS!! 

It still amazes me that this process has taken so long. However, Malachi is WORTH THE WAIT!! 

I know that most of you are thinking "well how much longer until you get him??"

That's a great question!! I ask God that same question on a DAILY basis! Although we don't know exactly when will will get him, we do know a few "statistics" within our agency. These are merely statistics and give us a rough estimate of time. 

Before I talk about "wait times," I feel like I need to clarify that we have NOT been matched with a child yet. We are waiting to be matched. Once we finally are matched and we see his face... You will know about it... TRUST ME. 

Please attempt to follow my adoption jargon for a minute!

There are 2 main ways we are tracking approximately "how much longer we have." 

Here they are:

The first tracking method:

We have been waiting 29 months. 

Our DTE (Dossier To Ethiopia) day was August 31, 2012. On that day, we were officially paperwork ready to receive a referral (match) therefore we were placed on our agency's waiting list. 

Okay... So... 

Our DTE was August 31, 2012

Our agency currently estimates a wait time of 36-48 months from DTE date to referral (being matched). 

We are 29 months from Our DTE date. 

Based on those estimates... We could receive a referral anywhere from 7 to 19 months from now. Ha! Talk about a large gap of time! Plus those times are subject to change! When we first entered the program, the estimated wait times were 12-18 months! 

Obviously that has changed drastically! 

The second tracking method:

This is our "number" on the waiting list. 

I need to clarify. Our agency does NOT give us an official waiting list number every month. So any "number" that I say we are is a unofficial number.  

So where does the list of numbers come from? 

It's been around within our agency long before we were adopting. Basically, when you enter the Ethiopia program with America World, the agency encourages you to get in two main groups for support and encouragement. One group is a Yahoo Group, the other is a closed Facebook Group. Once you are in those groups you can be "added" to the unofficial list. Basically, you tell the "keeper of the list" (which is just another mom in the program volunteering to keep up with the list) when your DTE date was and what your parameters are. 

For example:

Blackburn Family

DTE 8/31/12

Requesting a boy age 0-24 months 

Once you communicate that to the groups, they add you to the list. 

The "majority" of families volunteer this information and are added to the unofficial list. Some families, however, choose to remain anonymous. 

Since not EVERY SINGLE family is on the list, it is not entirely accurate. However, it does give you a very good idea of where you fall in line! I would estimate that approx 85-90% of families in our agency are on this list because it has been very accurate. 

Whew. Now that that is explained... What number are we?!?!

Well, December and January were amazing months in reference to referrals and movement! 

8 baby boys referrals have gone out!! 

So in the last 2 months we have moved up 8 spots!! 

We are #44 for an infant and #26 for a toddler!! 

I have been so encouraged because there is a possibility that we are even lower numbers than those! 

We stayed in the 60s for what seemed like a year. Now we have flown through the 50s and 40s. 

I cannot wait to get to the 30s!! 

So... How much longer until we get Malachi?? 

I have NO idea. 

But I drive myself nearly psycho tracking the details of when we might be close!! 

And I can feel it in my bones :-) 

We are getting closer!! 

This is us at the Federal Building in Jackson last week. We got our fingerprints done AGAIN! 

We have been working hard to update all of our paperwork so that if baby Malachi gets ready... We are ready too!! 

We lack ONE piece of paper before we are completely up to date on paperwork! 

Sidenote: 

Chip had a double ear infection so he was with us. 

Y'all, please keep praying for us! Pray for Malachi! Keep asking about adoption. We ask that you suffer long with us!! We know that God will bless you for continuing to lift us up to Him. We bless you! We thank you! We cannot wait to be on the other side of this journey and to get to share life with Malachi. 

Have a great week!! 

Abby 

Goodbye 2014... Hello 2015!

My collage collection for 2014 proved to be more difficult than 2013, but I got it done!! 

I am fairly confident that the difference was the addition of our second child and the move out to Down Range. 

Here are the collages from 2014!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The collages take time and effort, but it is always so rewarding to be able to take a quick glance at our lives over the course of a year! These kids grow so fast!

 

Praying that Malachi's face will be in some of the collages next year!

 

As of right now, I am planning on trying the collages for a third year in a row!

I think I like the way this year's collages turned out better than last year.

 

Click Here to see my collages from last year.

 

HAPPY 2015 EVERYONE!!

Though it linger... wait for it.

Who am I that the Lord of all creation might choose to speak to me?

Who am I that the God of Heaven and of Earth might hear my cry and answer me?

Lately, I have struggled to keep walking forward in this adoption.

I am more than weary...

Literally... physically... emotionally... mentally... 

I have been struggling.

My closest friends surround me, support me and pray for me.

I seriously could not do this without the love and support of others!

I have been wrestling with God.

I have been crying out to Him.

WHEN will this adoption EVER happen?!? 

WHY do you stand silently by and allow governments and corruption to keep innocent children from forever families?

Where are you? 

Then this morning... It was as if He looked down at the earth and chose to speak to me.

I sat down for my morning Bible Study. I didn't really have anything in particular I wanted to read so I decided to read the L3 (our church's reading plan). 

The first option in the L3 is Revelation... ehh.. I will just skip that today. I'm not feeling it.

Option number 2 is Habakkuk. 

Sure. Why not? 

Habakkuk 1 begins with Habakkuk praying to the Lord a prayer that is very familiar to me.

"How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?"

Habakkuk thinks that the LORD is merely standing by, passively, and allowing wickedness to prevail.

God's response:

"Look at the nations and watch - and be utterly amazed. 

For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told."

I was intrigued.

Habakkuk thought God was silently standing by.

But He wasn't.

Instead, He was working "behind the scenes" to create something amazing.

Most days I feel like Habakkuk. I feel like God is silent in our adoption journey.

Instead, could it be that He is actively crafting together something that I would not believe even if I was told? 

(of course the answer to this is YES, but that is so hard to see in the day to day struggle)

God proceeds to give Habakkuk a revelation of His plan.

Habakkuk responds with a few more questions.

Then the next few verses jumped off the page at me.

"Then the LORD replied:

Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time;

it speaks of the end

and will not prove false.

Though it linger, wait for it;

it will certainly come and will not delay.

What will certainly come and not delay?

The revelation that God had given to Habakkuk.

God gave Lee and I a revelation about adoption in November 2010.

That is what we wait on.

Of course we wait for a child, but our heart of hearts waits to see the fulfillment of what the Lord spoke into our lives. 

So much of my most recent struggle in this adoption journey is focused on God and not Malachi.

Sure I love Malachi and cannot wait to see him.

However, more importantly than receiving a child... I long to taste the faithfulness of the Lord. I long to see the fulfillment of His promise

The words "though it linger, wait for it" were both encouraging and discouraging.

I am encouraged because it is Truth spoken directly to me. I renews my Spirit and reminds me that ONE DAY He will fulfill His promise.

It discourages me because... it lingers... and I must continue to wait.

He didn't tell me that it would happen swiftly like I wish He would have.

A sweet friend of mine who is also in the adoption process made a comment the other day that really stuck in my head. This particular friend is just as (or probably more) weary as me.

With tears in her eyes she said, "If I had to choose the short route or the long route in His presence... I would never want to choose the short route."

In essence, she was saying that she would never want to choose the shortest route of a journey and miss out on the presence of the Lord. She would rather journey the harder, longer route just to be in the presence of the Lord for longer.

That is NOT an easy comment to make. 

So I have chewed on it for a few weeks. I am praying that in my weariness that I don't miss out on His presence. I don't want to become bitter. I want to become more like Him.

A lady asked me a question the other day (innocently and sweetly). She said, "I don't mean this to sound weird but I simply have to ask you... Do you think you will be able to love your adopted child like you do your biological children?"

I proceeded to explain that in my heart there seriously is no difference in how I feel about Malachi, Miller or Chip. I explained that you fall in love with your children while you are pregnant with them... and I have been "paper pregnant" with Malachi for... umm... 3 years!" She understood and appreciated my explanation.

I looked away from her for a moment. We both paused in the silence.

I slowly looked back up at her and said, "I honestly don't think that I will ever be able to look at Malachi and not think about the Lord."

I pictured my brown son standing in the room next to us.

And when I saw him... I thought about Jesus.

Exciting news on the adoption front!

In the last 2 weeks there have been at least 3 baby boy referrals go out so we have moved up a few spots!! 

We are thankful to have seen so much movement in the past 2 months. We pray that referrals continue to go out, and we also pray that children can get the necessary paperwork to COME HOME!!