The last few blogs I have displayed my weariness. And today I am happy to say that God has met me in my weariness.
Don't get me wrong... I am still READY to see Malachi's face, but I am clinging to some things differently today.
Miller is a sponge. He soaks up everything anyone desires to teach him.
He gets so into the stories!
So we've been learning about Noah's Ark.
One day I was listening to Miller re-tell the story and he said "mama, I gotta go get my hammah and build dat boat! Pow. Pow!" (As he bangs on some toys).
And it was in that moment I felt like God said, "I told Noah to build a boat. I promised the rain would come.
But Abby... You do understand that the rain didn't come for YEARS?!
Like... LOTS of years.
But Noah kept building. "
Then the story of Abraham and Sarah flashed in my mind.
God promised them a son, Isaac.
But that promise was not fulfilled until 25 years later.
God has promised us a son from Africa.
I will be honest and say that it's hard to walk out that promise.
Most of the time I feel like God is not going to hold up His end of the promise (like during the threats of Ethiopia shutting down).
I also am VERY tempted to take matters into my own hands like Sarah did when she told Abraham to have a son through Hagar.
But God is telling us to wait.
So waiting we are :-)
I have been reading the Circle Maker.
It talks about how to pray.
In one of the chapters, Mark Batterson re tells the story of when they were praying for a drummer for their church.
Here is the paragraph from the book:
"We must have asked God for a drummer two hundred times. We just kept repeating the same request over and over again like a two-year-old toddler: Give us a drummer, give us a drummer, give us a drummer. Then one day, it was like God finally got tired of the broken record and said, if you want a drummer, why don't you go get a drum set? We had never thought about actually taking a step of faith as if God was going to answer our prayer. Why? Because we want the answer before we exercise our faith!"
Can I be honest? Unintentionally over the last few months I have turned my eyes away from any sort of purchases that would remind me of Malachi.
Why? Because I was afraid that God wouldn't fulfill His promise and then I would be stuck looking at stuff that reminded me of it constantly.
I realized how HARD it is to have tangible reminders of Malachi when I thought Ethiopia was shutting down. I would walk through my house and see various reminders. One particular day I walked past our countdown wall and my devastated emotions wanted to rip it down. (I refrained :-))
Then I opened the cabinet to get a plate and the first one I pulled down was a child's plate with Malachi's name on it. I quickly put it at the bottom of the pile because I could not bear to look at it.
And that night, I plugged my phone in and there sat this stone.
A reminder of the covenant that Lee and I made with The Lord 3 years ago now regarding this adoption.
So... I withdrew.
I didn't want another. Single. Reminder.
Then as I read what Mark Batterson was saying, it was as if God whispered:
"Abby, why don't you live like I'm gonna answer your prayers?"
So. I'm happy to say that I'm no longer turning my head to reminders. But instead I'm embracing them.
Lee's sister had this map of Africa framed for us way back at the beginning of our journey. I had planned to put it in his room.
Two days ago I was changing some decorations in my living room and I noticed this map tucked away in Chip's room. I grabbed it quickly and it looked PERFECT in this spot!
Right. Smack. In. The. Living. Room.
Let me tell y'all! Only God.
Three months ago I wouldn't have been able to look at that everyday.
Last night I purchased this coffee mug.
"Buna" (boo-na) is Amharic for coffee. Amharic is the language spoken in Ethiopia.
In a traditional Ethiopian coffee ceremony, coffee is made in a Jebena (coffee pot) and popcorn is also served.
The back of the mug has a Jebena, some coffee beans and popcorn.
We drink coffee daily during our quiet time. This mug will definitely get used!!
God has promised us a son.
3 years have passed.
But, His faithfulness never ends.